Beautiful sunny morning and we are all in high spirits as the crossing should be easy out of Uzbekistan when comparing how easy and welcoming there were coming in.
Only 20 miles and we arrive at the Uzbekistan control gate and the van is asked to go first while the bikes wait. Hmmm! nearly an hour passes and we have not been called and the van contained Jeff, Adam and Ann with her broken ankle. A little out of the norm even for the police state Turkmenistan
Suddenly the gate guard says “two more bikes” so Kevin and myself wander up. Fill another customs form for departure from the country. It has the usual questions on currency and I have listed my dollars, my Euros and the few GBP’s that I have and we get entered into the log book.
Ok customs guard comes over with my two declaration forms and asks me to open my luggage up. So I pull my first pannier bag out and unzip for the contents to be displayed. No smelly clothes today as I had got a wash done the previous night.
Now I have distributed my dollars all the way through my luggage in sealed bags of $260 dollars on the basis that if someone goes through my luggage, they do not find all my dollars in one hit.
In the bag with my shorts and zip-off trousers, he finds a pack, he asks me to open it and he counts it.
Other side of this bag is my undies and another bag with some dollars in. He opens this up himself and rips the bag (arse the point is it keeps the money dry if water gets into the pannier). An interpreter comes over and asks him to explain that they are all the same. They look at each other slightly bemused
So, next bag with T-Shirts, then the bag with long sleeved tops, then sock bag and then I show him my shoes with have a bundle in each one.
“OK” he says, when he has finished going through all my stuff in the one pannier bag. The interpreter says “but this is not the same as what you have declared”.
“Of course, because it is in the other pannier”, DUH!
“Please”
So same drill and funny enough, it all adds to the amount I declared.
HA HA MUPPET!
He then hands me my V5 and passport and motions for me to go to a wooden box with a guy in it to get it exit stamped, he looked almost disappointed.
Kevin however, being the leader had a lot more cash on him than declared and also other currencies that he did not think they would be bothered about. We feel this is a rouse and they are going to do this with everyone. It is now 2 hours and I am the only one that has officially left Uzbekistan. The van is being emptied and Kevin looks over at me and says”Never had a border crossing like this before”
I go over to my bike and text one or two of the group to let them know to hide any excess monies.
Robert and Max turn up and they go through the same drill and unfortunately, Robert has $750 over what he has declared.
“We must confiscate this and you must write a letter of apology for an incorrect declaration”
Your having a laugh you “TWATS”
Robert does not look happy and protests at this in his limited Russian.
Max has managed to get through by pulling one bag out with exactly the correct money in it that he has declared. If they had looked a little closer at one of his bags, then they would have found the same amounts again. NOT so good you idiots after all
It is hot and no shade, so we have to cover our heads and necks with our Buff’s.
This is going to be a long while and we suddenly realised that the interpreter had been down to the first gate when we arrived asking where we were going and they knew we would have cash on us as this part of the world is all cash expenditure.
“Wankers” and there is nothing you can do as they have your passport. Why did some people not declare the full amount, was due to them thinking that they may have been a charge on cash over a certain amount.
Six hours later and the last two are just coming in for being searched, Aaron manages to deposit a bundle of dollars (1000) in between his cheeks as the y really go to town on him, and he is American.
Next they march him off to a room where he asks if Robert can go with him to translate. They get him to undress down to his undies but the guard goes no further. WE all decide that those of us stamped out would head up to the Tajikistan border and get stamped in and wait for the others.
Kevin at this point is being separated from some serious dollars and he starts saying to them “Do you know you are a C*&%T and a F*&%£$R, to which they smile and just say “YES” Borat fashion
They all have to sign a form stating that the money had been taken and that they had been treated properly by the customs officer
The Uzbekistan people are great; it is just a shame that a few individuals can spoil it for the majority.
All up to Tajikistan border where I new guide awaits, Ali, nice guy
We tell him of the saga and he just replies with “Stupid Uzbekies”
There is no love lost between these two countries as the Tajik’s are building a Dam which will virtually dry up the only river running through Uzbekistan.
Up to customs and see if we get another rogering. Nope we are met by a customs official who has a state minister of tourism with him. He is checking on how things are operating at the coal face.
Excellent, no bribery or corruption here today then.
Apologies are given for the behaviour of the stupid Uzbeks. We are very welcome to his country and that all will be dealt with in the appropriate manner.
All paper work completed and off to Dushanbe for our last two nights of luxury at the Hyatt Regency.
5944 miles – Dushanbe, Tajikistan
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